Sidetracked.....

I am beginning this post somewhat confused and almost in a state of stupor at my own self and lack of determination and/or will power. Here I sit on the floor in my apartment bedroom after being gone for a week house sitting in greystone. My laptop is in my lap and I am propped against a shelf (this, as you are probably imagining, is not the most comfortable position and would best be solved by me moving. however, as I am about to address, I do not feel like it). After browsing facebook for a good thirty minutes, I scanned my room and it's current state of 'being.' I quickly realized that I had been sidetracked, for the purpose of a computer, from completing the much needed task of unpacking and cleaning. There are clean clothes in (folded) piles, a suitcase that has yet to be unzipped, a duffel bag of shoes that have not found their way home, and a bathroom satchel that contains the necessary items to get ready for bed tonight and work in the morning. My intention, when I arrived at the apartment at 8:30, was to quickly and efficiently get everything done and put away in a certain amount of time so that I could crawl in bed and watch Dan in Real Life before going to sleep. This did not happen. I was distracted, torn away from my goal. And for what? An hour of wasted time to look at updated profiles and blogs. And, now, it is 9:35, I have no desire to complete my intended task and I have a sore back and butt bone. It's funny to me what things can grip my attention so easily and distract me from doing what I've planned and/or need to do. It's like I have little to no self-control or determination. No...scratch that. It's not 'like'...it IS that I have little to no self-control or determination. And this, as I have realized through this situation as simple as unpacking, is reflected in most to all aspects of my life. It's apparent in my daily walk with Christ, in my relationships with people, in my work....the list could go on and on. I lose focus too easily and then, instead of fixing the problem, I justify it with my own idiotic reasoning. "I'm human;" "I have a slight case of ADD;" "I can finish it later....." etc. etc. etc. It's dumbfounding. It makes me not like myself and gives me a desire to change. This desire, however, is quickly doused by my excuses, 'my days are too busy'...'I don't/didn't have time.' If I want to be real with myself and gut-wrenching honest, I have to admit that I have a bad case of the 'lazies.' It is such a cyclical disease....And it desperately needs to be cured. Prioritizing has never been a strong point in my life...but, as I have seen through a situation as simple as cleaning my room after being away for a week, it needs to be, in order for me to grow and learn about myself in anything and everything. This is a new goal for me. To be determined , driven, and efficient....to get over myself and stop wallowing.
This, I hope, will be good.
And it's starting right now.................
Ready, Set, Go.